Diary of an Artist.

Rebecca
1 min readApr 4, 2022

In the depths.

Painting by Rebecca Entwistle Art

The canvas doesn’t matter.

The paints no longer matter.

What I’m doing, does it matter?

Am I fueled by ego? As it whispers it’s intent, it’s own will upon me, I am told there is a worth to some of this life that I inherited, ego’s poison seeping into me and as it trails to my most deepest depths of thought, it hijacks my mind and sends me into overdrive; a heightened state of creation, a cluttered space, having all the power but feeling void when it comes to using it.

Like staring at lightening in a bottle. Theres power, unlimited force, but its encased in a transparent forcefield, trapped, kept prisoner.

My power, my abilities, are endless, but I am sheathed in a cloth woven by my own hands, it strangles, cloys, as it encases me. I am but a maker of my own weakness, a destroyer of my own worlds.

I am both the ego, and the imposter.

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Rebecca

I’m 29, and live in the UK. Trying to make it as an artist in both traditional painting and writing in 2021. Dreaming of writing fiction and painting forever.