Diary of an Artist.

Rebecca
1 min readMar 15, 2022

Burn out.

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

What do I need to do?

I’m juggling business with being an artist, and thats like mixing oil and water. I feel like I’m managing them both poorly, my creative tank running out of juice, my business brain hammering against the table. The headaches follow, miles of pain stretched out over countless days, my head pounding, swelling under the immense pressure
So much pressure, it numbs my body and paralyses me. Unable to move, to produce. What do I need to do?

So much, and yet so little, it all churns up and spews out like slurry. Unnformed, waste product. My thoughts are often like this, as I strain to sieve through the muck to find gold, I’m often left empty, and unforgiven.

Every piece of art I seem to create, is not worthy of being called art in the first place, what was a lucrative talent, now a whisper of what once was, the burn out clawing at my eyes and attacking my hands, leaving me powerless to its will as it slowly poisons me inside and out. I’m meant to be doing something.

Where will this all end up?

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Rebecca

I’m 29, and live in the UK. Trying to make it as an artist in both traditional painting and writing in 2021. Dreaming of writing fiction and painting forever.