Balancing work with life stuff.
I feel disorganised, most days.
Wake up. Late and disorientated after multiple crazy dreams. I should write those down somewhere.
Crappy cereal for the kids with cows milk, should really give them more fruit.
School run. I hate school run mums. I stand defensively away from it all. Don’t look at me. I’m so lonely.
9am — should start working.
3yr old wants a second bowl of breakfast. With sugar. Fuck.
He needs a drink.
Blanket,
TV time. Constant babysitter. Fuck. I feel so guilty.
Clean up otherwise parents will inevitably chuck us out.
Oh shit, forgot to wash my face.
Washings on, I hope.
10:20
Right now I can begin. I should start drinking coffee. No, coffee is drugs.
Work, I need to work, my hair goes up into one giant, knotted, greasy bun, because washing isn’t priority right now, or ever. My art supplies are splayed throughout two rooms; one upstairs, one down, the brushes unwashed and caked with oil paints, the palettes collecting 12 hr old dust and the oil paints have developed a crust.
I need to buy a scraper.
After running to and fro between many rooms, washing, scraping, scrubbing, and eventually organising my bedroom floor ready to paint, I need to fill up another cup of juice, and distract my boy from screaming for his lunch an hour earlier than 12 on the dot.
11:20
Where did 20 minutes go?
Right, painting. Wait should I be doing admin?
No sales right now, okay I can paint.
Maybe I should put more effort into admin.
I can only paint for about an hour, otherwise I’ll have to have lunch after the school run.
I love painting, but how am I so unproductive? I swear that hour felt more like 15 minutes. Strange. Where did the time go?
Lunch; a chicken sandwich, white bread, Pringles, and a Mini Roll. We were out of apples. I should be eating better, maybe I will make a soup. I hate soup.
School run time, I’ll finish my lunch on the way. Why does Ellowen’s teacher take so long?
Got back, late as usual. Harry had more problems at school, wish I knew what to do, wish he would cheer up and try. I wish I carried on with home educating.
I’ve got to clean the lunchboxes. I don’t know how they made so much mess with one yogurt. Gross.
5pm dinner prep.
Should talk to my mum. She should say hello for once. Why are relationships such a job at the moment?
Kids hated the dinner I made. Fuck it.
A quick free hour; instagram post, shit I missed TikTok, I’ll sort my Facebook out tomorrow, I just want to make art.
My dinner, and I added some veg. Wish I had a Diet Coke. And dessert.
A quick sketching session in my diary, how did I completely lost track of the daily challenge? I have 10 days to fill. My hand hurts.
I’m tired, I want YouTube, and anime. Watching a strange anime called Hellsing. It’s gory, and really weird. Don’t like british accents. I do like it.
I should read more, it’s better for my health. I’ll read tomorrow.
I need to paint more. I’m so busy. I’m so tired. Does anybody see?
